Who else has a big fat ugly ego?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 08:25AM 
No one likes a know-it-all.
In the fall of 2002, several months after having graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelor's of Science degree in exercise and sport sciences, I became self-employed for the first time.
After having a brief and disappointing work experience in an administrative position with the local YMCA, I became an independent contractor as a personal trainer at a private fitness studio in downtown Orlando, Florida where I now live.
I soon discovered that at this studio I was working alongside other trainers with many more years experience than me.
However, these other trainers didn’t have college degrees in fitness, but simply certifications that supposedly qualified them to train.
As time went on, I discovered that some of these “un-degreed” trainers were knowledgeable and capable and then again, some were not.
I also discovered that many “degreed” trainers were very knowledgeable and capable and then again, some were not.
Regardless, I decided that I knew exactly what I was doing and that there couldn't possibly be anything to learn from these industry veterans...degree or no degree.
Herein lies a critical error that many evolving entrepreneurs make.
I simply had no respect for the experience gained by my fellow trainers over many years of successes and failures.
Thus, because I must have appeared full of myself and standoffish, these other trainers were never interested in helping learn the ropes or mentoring me (or having anything to do with me for that matter).
What did this arrogant attitude cost me?
Approximately 2 years of 60 to 80 hour workweeks, not enjoying my work, being broke, and fostering absolutely no lasting relationships with others in my profession.
The whole experience actually caused me to hate the profession I was originally was so passionate about.
If I were to do it over again, I would have checked my ego and spent more time with the valuable resources available to me within my fellow trainers.
I would have taken them to lunch, modeled them, found out what they read, partnered up with them, and most of all, asked them for help in the development of my business.
Now, I know better and place a premium on the advice of others more experienced and smarter than me.
Learn the difference between self and ego, and take control and responsibility for the latter.
Learn the power of the words “I don’t know” and “I’m not sure about that.” and “What do you think?”
Admit it when you make a boo boo.
After all, mistakes are not negative events like your parents and schoolteachers would have you believe.
Mistakes are positive learning experiences to be leveraged into future success.
Learning to control your big, fat, and ugly ego will illuminate a world of possibilities for you.
You’ll notice that people are more open to working with you and help will magically show up in a variety of forms conveniently when you need it the most.
There are mentors out there just waiting to come across a blank-slate like you that they can impart all of their valuable knowledge unto.
As Eckhart Tolle teaches in The Power of Now, one of the most enlightening and influential books I’ve ever read, those who are primarily identified with their ego are in spiritual terms “unconscious” or unconnected with their Source.
In brief, being identified with your ego means equating your self worth exclusively to everything present in this physical world, such as your body, your achievements, your mistakes, and your past.
By doing this you negate your attachment to the spiritual world and render yourself unable to connect with the guidance provided by your innate instincts (or the Universe, God, Divine Coincidences or however you wish to label it).
In non-philosophical-mumbo-jumbo terms this means simply to get connected to your innate survival instincts, to trust yourself.
Those “gut” feelings really do mean something and are always trying to guide you in the right direction!
Those feelings are always there and available to you if you pay attention!
However, having a big ego will surely keep them suppressed.
So, take control...do what's most advantageous to your mission.
Get over yourself and don't take yourself so damn seriously.
Ask for help when you need it and seek out mentors.
Be of value and other will impart value upon you.
Go now and be open to new ideas and new possibilities.
How have you succeeded with keeping your ego in check?
When have you lost control of your ego and what were the consequences?
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Reader Comments (1)
As the world "gets smaller" - I more frequently notice people "building their own brand". However vain, in many cases, there is no other way. Agreed, that presentation and delivery of ego either brings in confidants or scares. Great current topic! To Ego or to Estop OR to stopEgo?!?
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Nick
@nicktamble